Oprah doesn’t deserve this…

Some say that Tom Cruise goes too far. I tend to agree, but in any case I just wanted to say congratulations to Tom and Katie on the birth of their baby girl Suri (WTF!?). I also think that maybe Tom should be the one to stay away from the baby for a week, after eating the babie’s placenta he may get a taste for human flesh and finish her off.

Here we go now

When Psychofett asked me to write a piece for his blog I was a little sceptical. Why would The Man choose me as the one to be cast into the eternal limelight - a benefactor of rewards too innumerable to count? Once up in lights, how would I tame his fierce readership? It’s a daunting task, but here is my attempt:

Get ready for this months strategy tips:

3 Ways to Defeat Psychofett at Perfect Dark (and numerous small tips)

I thought I would catalogue some tips and tricks that may come in handy if you ever find yourself one-on-one with The Red Dragon.

Ingredients:

• 1 * Psychofett
• 1 * N64 + Perfect Dark Cartridge

1. Farsight
   He quite simply can’t handle the power and accuracy of this honorable weapon. Works especially well without radars. Blind and without the ability to set up base in a lonely corner, he is almost defenseless. You needn’t worry about walking into an n-bomb, remote or proxy mine if don’t have to play into his deadly game of cat and mouse. Watch with a smile as he tries to use the Farsight against you, but don’t take pity – he is the enemy.
   
2. Hacker Central with Kill Score Disabled
   A mistake by novice Psychofett opponents is to enter a hacker central game on the default settings. Without proper adjustment of this mode, players will receive a score for killing their opponent. Psychofett knows this and since he can’t operate the hacker central console properly he will most likely gain victory by dishonorably shooting you when you’re trying to do the right thing.
   
3. Black Cat of Gaming Destruction
   Cats are another Psychofett weakness. This point requires a cat (preferably black) to take nesting on the lap of Psychofett and alas reduce his mobility and ability to control his character. Larger animals may or may not work.
   

Some more points:

• Watch for Player Advantages: His health will often gain a 1000% increase even though you’ve tried to be alert.
• Don’t allow him to choose Laptop Guns, Remote Mines, Proximity Mines, N-Bombs, Slayers or anything that could be used to protect his safe corner.
• One final note: Select any level except The Villa.

Traffic and Junk

Heres a question: How did half of Perth drivers get their licence? The answer: I don’t have a friggin’ clue! Now I can tell you that after being constatnly cut-off and nearly rammed every time I get in my car that our licencing standards aren’t very high. As such I thought I’d do a little bit of “community service” and refresh everybody on a few of the more menial road rules. This will be the first post in a multi-post series.

Roundabouts: How to indicate correctly.
Pretty straight forward, huh? Aparently not.

LEFT HAND TURN
Perform a left indication 30 metres before entry. Turn left.


FORWARD THROUGH
Enter the roundabout without indicating. Perform a left indication immediately prior to your chosen exit.


RIGHT HAND TURN
Perform a right indication 30 metres before entry. Turn right. Perform a left indication immediately prior to your chosen exit.


U-TURN
This is done much in the same way as a right hand turn although the left indication is held off until immediately prior to your chosen exit.

Here is a website that has further explanation:
Clarifying Some Road Rules

Vanity Post: Quad-core

They say to lead a healthy life you need to feed the mind, body and soul… and ego. Heres my daily dose of the latter.

“Wrestler: Psychofett, duelling canes, super twizzly spinny moves, title shots, fire breathers…… Need i say more?
Is psychofett the greatest wrestler ever? This reporter says yes.” - Malachi

GREATEST WRESTLER EVER! YOU HEAR THAT?! AND FROM AN OFFICIAL REPORTER AS WELL!! YEAH YEAH YEAH! OH GOOD SPAGHETTO!

“Hey, did anyone else notice that bloody fantasic spinny move psychofett did?1 That was TOO good! Very impressive” - Sezzy