Well another Evolution is over and just like the three before it I have been screwed out of winning. No doubt you are all very disapointed but I have created an Evolution history of Psychofett to clear things up.

Evolution 2002
vs. Richter
Hhhhmmm my first and only win at an Evolution, what does this tell us? That I have progressively gotten worse? No, that can’t be it. It was EPW’s first powerbomb match, and I must add that Richter (despite his size) must not be very good at these matches because according to my statistics he has lost 100% of all of EPW’s powerbomb matches!

Not only did I powerbomb Richter for the victory I caned Xeriyous Blade with my sic [sic] kendo stick, and started my comedic wrestling career with a bootylicous dance. An evolution to remember!

Evolution 2003
w/ Brock Freeman vs. The Brat Pack
Lets face it on this particular night Mr. Freeman had an attitude problem, he couldn’t handle my sheer ability to be wicked. So he decided to walk out on the match, and if memory serves I was shot with an AK-47 by FN. Carnage for my first loss at Evolution.

vs. “The American Nightmare” Brock Freeman
I was pretty angry with Freeman for his treacherous ways, and although I still had 14 bullets lodged in my spine I fought on with great bravery. Despite Freeman’s dramatic change I was able to hold him at bay with a snickers bar to the head, only to have some chump referee count us out for a draw. Annoying.

Evolution 2004
w/ Devlin Reeves vs. The Brat Pack
Another day, another chump. You try and teach them to work hard and be good to their mothers, and all they do is clothesline you in the face. That Devlin Reeves, tisk tisk. So the Brats won that one, but Devlin did trip over. Clumsy.

w/ Awsome Inc. vs. The Brat Pack & Rave
Now I didn’t have anything against Rave (now known as Rave Lite or Rave Zero I’m not sure) but he got in the way of my revenge, so I totally flipped out and kicked him pretty hard. Again cheated out of a Evo victory when Devlin puts his feet on the ropes (and super-glued my shoulders to the canvas).

Evolution 2005
vs. Davis “thunder” Storm
Rove gave me a hand with this one, DDTing XXXeriyous Blade. However Storm used his chump-like ability to be a jerk and low-blowed everyone (cause he is jealous he doesn’t have any), then hit me with a ring-bell. What a sucker-chump. More on meeting Rove in a future post (maybe).

vs. Richter w/ Anella
Now Richter has been a pesky foe for me, and it certainly didn’t help having Anella at ringside distracting the ref at every turn (although I forgave her after she smashed the European Union at Evo ‘06). So yeah another low-blow for old Fett and again I’m down for the count.

Evolution 2006
w/ G$T vs. The Forefathers
Eck 6-man tags are risky business. Also I think the production guy forgot my pyro. What can I say we lost, but the Forefathers continued the attack after the bell. What jerks. They’ll get their dues, just you wait.

Evolution 2007 (Has not happened yet)
vs. everyone in EPW (including production & floor staff)
The tides are changing, kama will be on my side. I predict Burning Howards all round!… Burning Howard? No, no… I mean Burning Hammer. Howard are you?